I am.

I am Cari.  I am a girl.  I have blue eyes when I'm sad, grey eyes when I'm numb to emotion, and green when I'm too pissed off to put my anger into words.  I have crooked teeth.  I have a third nipple and a baby toe that turns on its side when I walk.  I have long brown hair and its my favorite thing about myself.  There isn't many other things I like about myself but there is always my hair.  I have broad shoulders and ear holes that are too big.  I have short legs and long fingers.  I have my fathers nose and my mothers lips, but I have the mind I have created on my own.

I am Cari.  I am a middle child. I am the grand daughter of two women who lost their lives to cancer.  I am the grand daughter of a cancer surviver.  I am the grand daughter of a WWII veteran.  I am the grand daughter of a woman strong enough to give a baby boy up for adoption.  I am the daughter of an addict. I am the daughter of a welfare recipient.  I am the neice of a man who commited suicide.  I am the neice of a heroine addict.  I am the neice of a dislexic woman.  I am the neice of a recovered addict who has her life together again.  I am the sister of an unwed mother.  I am the sister of a violent young boy.  I am the aunt of a little boy who will be better than those before him.

I am Cari.  I am opinionated.  I cannot stand to watch my loved ones be beaten, verbally or physically.  I am crazy and sarcastic.  I can keep you on your toes or let you walk all over me.  I think best when I'm alone.  I have no fashion sense.  I am pro choice.  I walk everywhere because its my cure for life.  I have made monumental mistakes in my life.  I have nightmares more often than I have pleasant dreams.  I sleep talk.  I am a victim and a strong willed human being.  I can over come any obsticle layed before me.  I have never been one to bow down to the steriotypical kingdom of high school. I can't get enough music in my system.  I can watch the same movie seven times in a row if I like it enough.  I will make a difference in the world around me.

I am Cari.  There are too many things about me to put in one blog, for your unknowing eyes to read, to let myself think about in one short period of time.  but heres a look through the window of the house I call my life. Maybe I'll invite you in sometime.